Doesn't matter what I do

Recently got told that I act like I'm too good for anyone now. That was nice to hear. I've sort of been blogging from my inner self, things I don't like to talk about out loud. I feel like I can get whatever I want to say on paper or typing. I guess you're going to see another side of me, a pissed one. I hear these type of things sometimes from people you thought you were close to and think, "Seriously? Do you honestly think I am too good for anyone now? I am only going to associate with people that are just like me?" Then I laugh. Never ONCE have I expressed to someone that because I'm some sort of "star" quarterback or Mr. Bucksport or player of the year or whatever they want to say, have I held myself above them. The only time I hear about this stuff is when my friends jokingly remind me of what I've accomplished, which is fine with me.

I sometimes wish I could go back and do everything over again. Play an instrument or be on the math team or be in drama I don’t really care and just prove that no matter what I do, I'm going to be the best I can be at it. If I get rewards for doing something, I would like to hope my peers would support me as I would for them if they won something. Like honestly, winning Mr. Bucksport was a great feeling, but I'm not going to use it in any advantage over someone, that's not me. Holy shit, I'm sorry for trying my best and trying to achieve as much as I can before I leave this place. I think after all of this I don't want to be an asshole, just someone anyone can talk to, because I am just like everyone else. End of my small rant. Whatever, I'm going to remain just a youngin' on his grind.

Look Good Play Good

I've been a superstitious person my whole life, wearing the same outfit on game-day, and a different outfit for each sport. I believe that if you look good in whatever you do, something will click in that brain of yours and somehow and someway you will do better than you expected. People do take notice when you dress nicely and become more curious. I've given presentations in classes before where I've been in a sweatshirt and sweatpants, and I was a little skeptic on my performance. I'm pretty sure there was a stain on my sweatshirt that was significantly large where it was in the back of my mind, which, in my mind, altered my performance. I recently gave a speech for winning my player of the year award in football, and when I got up there, dress shirt, tie, dress pants, boat shoes, you feel like you have a little “swagger” and a sense of, “damn I look good,” feeling and it was a lot easier to give the speech.

 

I think it’s okay to have a little bit of “swagger” when you do things, it doesn’t give you the impression that you think you’re better than everyone else, but rather a feeling of, “I have an edge,” on anybody else in the room or on the field. I played on the football field with all white shoes. There’s something about having white shoes that feel like it gives me the edge I need to play good. I guess it’s a psychological thing, but as long as I play good, it doesn't matter.

I guess that’s what it’s all about. Wear whatever you think gives you an edge on anybody in the room or on the field. If its clothes that have a stain on them, but feels like you’re invincible, then do it.